NO MORE REGRET! 3 TIPS FOR PUTTING YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS TO WORK!

Aug. 14

Resolutions are statements about whether to do or not to do something. We make them, especially as we enter into a new year, hoping they will encourage us to make shifts and changes in our quality of living. The problem is that when it comes time to implement them, most folks become easily discouraged, give up, and abandon them as quickly as they were made. Unfortunately, after our good intentions have failed once again, we feel embarrassed. We feel regret.. and lots of it.

Although there are books written on this topic, we're going to keep it simple. Let's take a look at Three Tips For Putting Your New Year's Resolutions To Work!

START WITH REALISTIC SPECIFIC GOALS

One reason resolutions don't work is because folks avoid addressing "roadblocks." As you begin thinking about the changes or shifts you want to make, be honest with yourself about your current reality.

ASK YOURSELF:

What obstacles do you face?
What is your weekly schedule demanding of you now?
What resources do you need?
What other factors might prevent you from reaching your goals?

Another of the most common reasons individuals feel discouraged and quickly give up on their resolutions is because the goals they set are too broad.

ASK YOURSELF IF YOUR TARGET IS CLEAR

1. I'm think I'll start exercising more.
2. I'm going to look for a new job.
3. I'm considering going back to school

TIP 1

First, answer the questions regarding any potential roadblocks. Secondly, with these considerations in mind, plan out a series of manageable action steps (realistic specific goals). Set approximate timelines for accomplishing them. If needed, readjust your action steps and your timelines as you move forward. You are in charge. Do what works for you.

For example, if your goal is to go back to school next year, break it down into the following action steps with a workable timeline:

Action Step One: Obtain information on application procedures, deadlines, etc. (four weeks)
Action Step Two: Apply for financial aid or other forms for assistance. (four to eight weeks)
Action Step Three: Continue working on application requirements: obtaining records; taking required tests or prerequisites; following through on additional documents or other sources needed for admission. (eight weeks) And so on.

Each of these steps contains an "action verb" to move you towards your goal. Each of these steps states specifically "how" and "when" you are putting your resolution to work. Write them down and place them where you see them every day. It is strongly recommended to take out or pull up your calendar and schedule time during your week to work on your goal/s. This way, working on your action steps becomes a part of your routine. Not only does this feel good to do so, but it helps when you are feeling pulled in other directions and keeps you focused on what is important. If you start to feel discouraged, chances are the action steps you set are still too broad, too large, or too much too soon. Break them down into smaller action steps. Slow it down a bit if you need to. Keep going. Keep growing.

TIP 2

Stick with a goal until you experience some degree of success or accomplishment. Then, celebrate it!
Although there may be overlap among the action steps, it is extremely important to stick with a goal until you experience some degree of success or accomplishment. This is important. When you achieve success, even if it is just a minor one, celebrate it! One of the reasons folks abandon their resolutions is that small successes are not recognized or rewarded. We all like support and encouragement. We all need it. This time, however, it is going to come from you! What do I mean?

After graduating with my Master's Degree in Psychology, in order to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I had to complete 3,000 hours of internship. At first, this seemed impossible. It felt overwhelming. However, I broke this requirement into smaller action steps with reasonable timelines. And then, every time I logged in another 100 hours, I rewarded myself with small treats or favorite pastimes: a new article of clothing, lunch with a friend, or sometimes an iced-coffee mocha did the trick. The months ticked by, the hours checked off, and the rewards I planned motivated me every step of the way.

Have fun planning out what your rewards are going to be. Get to work and enjoy the fruits of your labor! Let's take a look at our last Tip. It may not be what you expect, but this tip is perhaps the most important one.

TIP 3

At times, we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to putting our resolutions to work. Our negative talk, whether it is to ourselves or to others, is a huge barrier to success. If you find yourself reciting the same excuses, or rehearsing the same justifications, or you are quick to blame others for your lack of success, Stop Complaining. These negative behaviors are not going to get you where you want to be. It depletes you of the energy you need to move forward. And frankly, others get tired of hearing the same sob story over and over again. I know. I speak from personal experience.

When I applied to graduate school, I had one final big hurdle to overcome in order to be admitted on a permanent basis - score high enough on either the Miller Analogies Test or the Graduate Record Examination (GRE). I had one year to get it done. After each failed attempt on the Miller Analogies Test, I reported to my graduate adviser, "I can't do it. I'm not a good test taker. Why can't I be admitted based on my transcript from obtaining my teaching credential? I had a 4.0! I don't think this is fair."

After listening to my whining and complaining for months and with time running out, my adviser stood up and barked at me, "Obviously, the Miller Analogies Test is not your strength. Take the GRE. You have time to study and get it done. And, Holli, don't come back here and complain to me again." When I left, I was so mad and....hurt. But from that moment on, I responded differently. I Started Changing my attitude. I channeled my anger and disappointment in myself into motivation. I bought the study materials. I studied hard and completed practice tests. I studied harder and completed more practice tests. With time running out, I scheduled the GRE and took the test. I passed with a score far beyond what was required. I couldn't wait to show my adviser and to thank him for not putting up with my pity-party.

Attitude is so important. It can make us or break us. More importantly, it's one of the few things in life we can control. Let's take full advantage of it.

In conclusion, we are only as good for others as we are to ourselves. Let's put away your regret. Let's Put Your New Year's Resolutions To Work. And then, get ready to reap the rewards.

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Holli Kenley